The Surrogacy Process for Gay Men

For gay male couples, there are only two ways to have a child: surrogacy and adoption. So, if you and your partner are ready to grow your family, those are both viable options for bringing a baby into your lives. 

While adoption is a great choice for many couples, surrogacy offers a chance for you and your partner to have a child that has your genetic makeup. 

At the Center for Human Reproduction located in the Upper East Side of New York, New York, our team led by infertility specialists Norbert Gleicher, MD, FACOG, FACS, and David Barad, MD, MS, FACOG, is passionate about helping same-sex couples have children through whatever avenue they decide is best for them.

Here, we explain how the surrogacy process works for gay male couples.

Choosing a gestational carrier

The first step in the surrogacy process is choosing a woman to carry your baby. A gestational carrier differs from a traditional surrogate because she isn’t biologically related to the child. While many couples may select a woman they know to be the gestational carrier, most use a surrogacy agency to match both parties. 

Screening processes for gestational carriers include a physical exam, medical history evaluation, psychological screening, background check, and preconception exam. All these tests ensure that the entire process will be smooth for both you and the gestational carrier.

All legal arrangements need to be made at this time as well. These law-binding agreements cover things like how the gestational carrier is to give you the baby after birth, what compensation looks like, and what should happen if complications arise during pregnancy and childbirth.  

Selecting an egg donor

After you’ve been matched with a gestational carrier, you and your partner need to choose an egg donor. We have an extensive selection at the Center for Human Reproduction with a wide range of ethnic and religious backgrounds, so you should have no issues finding a match that covers all your desired criteria.

Creating and implanting embryos 

Using eggs from your selected donor and sperm from you and your partner, embryos are created in our state-of-the-art laboratory. This is an assistive reproductive technology known as in vitro fertilization (IVF). Once the embryos are ready, you can choose to go through genetic testing to screen for any chromosomal abnormalities that could affect the success of the pregnancy. 

Many dads-to-be choose to be a part of the implantation process if the gestational carrier is comfortable with it. The embryos are implanted into her uterine cavity using a catheter as a guide. While the implantation process is quick, it can take up to nine days to confirm a pregnancy. 

Going through pregnancy and starting parenthood

Pregnancy is about nine months, or 40 weeks long. During this time, your gestational carrier will see her OB/GYN for regular appointments. You and your partner should aim to spend time and bond with your gestational carrier so you can get updates on everything that’s going on with your baby in utero. 

By the time your gestational carrier reaches 20 weeks gestation, you and your partner should decide where you want your baby to be born and tour the facility. 

As long as everything goes smoothly during pregnancy and delivery, your parenthood journey can start as soon as doctors release your baby from the hospital. 

If you and your partner are ready to grow your family and would like to learn more about the surrogacy process, schedule an appointment with our Center for Human Reproduction team by calling our office at 626-385-7918 or booking online today.